forever a nub

love this so much

"Forever a Nub"

dear person

dear person,

so you said this to me yesterday:

As someone who was attracted to me, and is now dating one of my good
friends, I think that more or less covers our relationship >_>

so I am fairly sure you said this because you're an asshole, which like everyone has told me, and I'm sort of sure that I should have ended any communication with you after the numerous bitchfits you've thrown over the last few months, but I was persistent and thought underneath the anger, the bitterness, the casually demeaning insults, there was something to enjoy and be happy with as a friend.

now if you don't want to spend time talking to me, sure, I get it. I'm not going to talk to you if that's true. but guess what, bitch? you're the one who always responds to MY contact. ALWAYS. so don't act so elitist and like you've got a thousand buddies chilling on the sideline wanting to talk to you. you don't. you alienate people. you isolate people. you make MY friends furious with you. you have made MY friends angry at ME for continuing to talk to you because you've hurt my feelings.

short story, you ain't go no friends, and I have always been able to see fucking why.

when you say shit like that, that little textblock I quoted up there, it makes me feel bad. not because it's true by any means, as it's not. I am not just a vagina or a pussy or a dumb slut without other interaction with you that "I like you" and "now I like him" - I know this very well and there can be no argument ever made to convince me all I am in this life is "I am here for the men to fuck!"

but to think that you believe that? that does hurt. that does make me realize/think that our relationship is much more surface than it is anything. I don't know if you're trying to make it that way, which is probably true, you're probably trying to force distance, when I know for a fact you've fought to keep talking to me (your ass should have just shut up and played nice). but yeah. you're just saying shit that makes me feel bad that you would even see me that way, that simply or that crassly. you know I am not just a bundle of hormones, and yet you say stuff like that, trying to make distance.

well, good job. you did. you're an asshole, and even if I enjoy talking to you and think underneath the hardass heartless exterior there's a really good guy, for a second, for more than a second, I felt like nothing more than a dumb whore to you, and I'm not willing to put up with that. you can go to hell. yes, I said it. I know you balk when I cuss or stand up for myself. I'm not always going to compromise and try and persuade you into a friendship.

sometimes I'm going to say, like now "if you think I'm so simple there's nothing about me or our friendship except who I want to be laid by, then you go to hell, sir, and never fucking call me from those fires chowing down on your man-bits."

oh, let me make it more simple, because you are essentially an insecure, jealous, bitter, furious young man alone without friends lashing out at me because I want to be a platonic companion (and god forbid that happen) -

hey, fuck you. with a two-handed axe with many spiky points on the end, as hard as possible.

signed,

someone who you've yet again unintentionally insulted and hurt the feelings of, who really fucking ought to leave you alone to your misery but is far too fucking full of blood from her bleeding heart to do anything more than just not speak to you for the next week

PS - if you somehow managed to JUST ONE TIME, apologize to me, I think I would fucking die of shock. I would seriously call 911. paramedics might not be able to save my life.