right now

Nearly October of 2009. What the hell happened to December of 2004? I remember that shit like it was just last year. What about October 2008? How have 400 days passed so fast? I remember stressing about applications, the GRE, senior year, like it was last week.

What compounds it all for me is that my memory is so shot. I have no idea why. I fear one day I'll get a brain scan and they'll find some benign tumor blossoming right into my memory center. But for now it's all about the pictures and blog entries. Otherwise I have no idea what the fuck I am doing a year later, a month later, a week later, a day later.

To document what the hell my life is like this moment, this is what is on my desk:

• A Japanese movie from Vision Video Anna and I got because the guy on the front is hot
• Persepolis from Vision Video Anna and I watched last week
• A nearly empty box of tissues
• A receipt from a book I bought on half.com
• Cold-Eeze box with most of the honey cough drops still inside
• A Gettysburg book
• My dead Nano 2GB iPod
• My medication
• Five yellow notecards (3 for my book next week, two for articles due today)
• Nail clippers
• DayQuil + little cup
• Pen container with lots of pens and scissors
• Tall plastic cup with swirls and stars with water
• My Agnes ring
• My silver earrings
• Mostly empty coke can on a coaster
• A fine-tipped pen I'm using to take notes
• My digital camera
• My plate that had my nuggets on it with the fork
• Anna's origami centerpiece
• My thankyou notes
• A box for an eco-friendly lightbulb
• A dead lightbulb
• A bunch of coupons from our mail (junk mail)
• A corkboard coaster

clever

• woke up at 9:15
• pressed snooze until 9:25
• dressed
• went downstairs
• checked email
• got email from student who was sick and missing exam
• emailed her back
• was late out the door
• pumpkin followed me from the bushes to the car and looked pitiful
• heartstrings pulled, damn my lateness, I'm sorry kitten!
• arrive at the same time as SC-buddy to our meeting
• talk jokingly/anxiously with other TAs as we put scantrons in the exams
• last TA shows up late, didn't understand where we were meeting, yay English issues
• we all walk down to the student learning center
• put signs up on the doors
• switch out bluebooks with the students
• get two bluebooks from students that are already graded exams - WTF KIDS WTF
• SC-buddy instructs them, I add my own two cents
• we get started, hand out exams
• make sure everyone has them
• start the tons of bizarre, little questions
• catch no one cheating but lots of like "what the hell is on the floor" moments for me
• everyone seems okay...
• folks started turning them at like 11:45
• we have tons of people still out in the seats at 12:18-12:19
• I stand over a guy (who is in my SECTION! who I grade!) at 12:20 and he finishes up
• we scamper outside
• separate bluebooks
• walk back to car
• take photos on the way home
• get home
• make chicken sandwich after washing hands ugh ugh ugh
• pass out for like forty minutes or something
• wake up with a headache
• do skimming of theory reading
• totally leave my notes for the articles like a dumbass at home
• drive back to school
• walk onto class
• talk with JT as I rush in
• admit not finishing my antibiotics ahahaha I'm so screwed
• theory class starts
• Cultural History day, oh let's hope my not reading one or three chapters isn't noticeable
• not so hard
• my question is valuable and we talk about it a lot, sweet
• we end on my question
• much awkward with some questions / other students from other cultures...
• I'm thinking how fucked I am when I moderate
• eat my lemon zest luna bar
• drink my week old coke that lasts until literally right this moment
• get home
• fuck off the next seriously six hours
• watch bones marathon
• get into several tussles
• tomato soup
• mint chocolate chip ice cream
• vegetarian nuggets with cheddar cheese
• not enough to drink like always (exaggeration here)
• start to stress out
• decide to make a list to calm down
• listen to new rap songs thank god for youtube
• write this blog