right now

Nearly October of 2009. What the hell happened to December of 2004? I remember that shit like it was just last year. What about October 2008? How have 400 days passed so fast? I remember stressing about applications, the GRE, senior year, like it was last week.

What compounds it all for me is that my memory is so shot. I have no idea why. I fear one day I'll get a brain scan and they'll find some benign tumor blossoming right into my memory center. But for now it's all about the pictures and blog entries. Otherwise I have no idea what the fuck I am doing a year later, a month later, a week later, a day later.

To document what the hell my life is like this moment, this is what is on my desk:

• A Japanese movie from Vision Video Anna and I got because the guy on the front is hot
• Persepolis from Vision Video Anna and I watched last week
• A nearly empty box of tissues
• A receipt from a book I bought on half.com
• Cold-Eeze box with most of the honey cough drops still inside
• A Gettysburg book
• My dead Nano 2GB iPod
• My medication
• Five yellow notecards (3 for my book next week, two for articles due today)
• Nail clippers
• DayQuil + little cup
• Pen container with lots of pens and scissors
• Tall plastic cup with swirls and stars with water
• My Agnes ring
• My silver earrings
• Mostly empty coke can on a coaster
• A fine-tipped pen I'm using to take notes
• My digital camera
• My plate that had my nuggets on it with the fork
• Anna's origami centerpiece
• My thankyou notes
• A box for an eco-friendly lightbulb
• A dead lightbulb
• A bunch of coupons from our mail (junk mail)
• A corkboard coaster